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"Ever since I took the Dale Carnegie course when I was twenty-five, I've kept his book How to Win Friends and Influence People on the shelf. I still have my original copy, and it's pretty tattered. I must have referred to it hundreds of times in my life. Do you know what Dale Carnegie's first rule was? "If you want to gather honey, don't kick over the beehive." That's pure common sense - something we are often lacking these days. Dale Carnegie also had some good advice being a leader, and he made a point of saying that it applied to presidents and kings as well as to ordinary businesspeople. Although he wrote How to Win Friends and Influence People more than seventy years ago, Carnegie's principles are just as relevant today."

  • 50 Self-Help Classics: 50 Inspirational Books to Transform Your Life by Tom Butler-Bowdon (Page 85)
"Before books like this, it was thought that dealing with people was a natural ability you either had it or you didn't. How to Win Friends put firmly into the public's mind the fact that human relations are more understandable than we think, and that people skills can be systematically learned. It also carried the proposition, in direct opposition to the book's reputation, that we don't really influence a person until we truly like and respect them."

  • Keith Ferazzi, bestselling author, Never Eat Alone
"This book has been around for some time but it still is well worth reading."

  • BNET (10 Underrated Business Books)
"Why it’s underrated: It may seem old and corny, but it’s the only how-to management book you’ll ever need — all the others are recycled from this classic."

"The only way on earth to influence people is how to show them to get what they want"

"The classic networking guidebook."

  • Fog Creek Software Management Training Program by Joel Spolsky
  • Bloomsbury Publishing: The books that shaped business 2002
  • Jeffrey Gitomer, American businessman, author, and business coach
  • John Lutwyche Clements, UK renowned author, coach, mentor & speaker


Book: Where have all the Leaders Gone? by Lee Iacocca
Book: Getting Everything You Can Out of All You’ve Got (Backmatter Page 361)

How To Win Friends And Influence People

By Dale Carnegie

This may be the single greatest business book ever written. You could probably read it every year, and its advice would still help you out. It is so good that these notes are simply a summary of the notes already included in the book at the end of each section.

Part One

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

  1. Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain. (It rarely helps the situation)
  2. Give honest sincere appreciation.
  3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Part Two

Six Ways To Make People Like You

  1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
  2. Smile.
  3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
  4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves. (This is the secret to being a great conversationalist.)
  5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
  6. Make the other person feel important—and do it sincerely.

Part Three

Win People To Your Way Of Thinking

  1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. (Because even if you win, you aren’t going to get what you want.)
  2. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
  3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. (A good way to start is to admit that you could be mistaken.)
  4. Begin in a friendly way.
  5. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
  6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
  7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
  8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
  9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
  10. Appeal to the nobler motives. (Even if deep down they make the decision based on the baser ones. Everyone wants to be the hero of their own story.)
  11. Dramatize your ideas. (A picture and a story are worth a thousand words.)
  12. Throw down a challenge. (Do this when all else fails.)

Part Four

Be A Leader: How To Change People Without Giving Offense Or Arousing Resentment

  1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
  2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
  3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
  4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
  5. Let the other person save fact.
  6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
  7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
  8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
  9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

End notes:

The ability to speak is a shortcut to distinction. It puts a person in the limelight, raises one head and shoulders above the crowd. And the person who can speak acceptably is usually given credit for an ability out of all proportion to what he or she really possesses.

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